Sir: Everywhere I go, people are telling me to be worried about security. Microsoft says bad actors can send harmful spreadsheet files as email attachments. My bank tells me that bad actors may try to trick me into giving them my banking information. Google wants me to enable two-factor authentication so that bad actors can’t break into my account.

So my question is this: Why is everybody so worried about Nicholas Cage all of a sudden? He doesn’t scare me. —Sincerely, Hugh Grant.