1. Assume an attitude of determination by clenching the fists. Imitating the physical manifestation of a mental state often causes that mental state. (Refer to the psychological writings of William James to see how this works.)

2. Carefully consider all the things that could possibly go wrong before you begin to write. Do not neglect the astronomical, such as asteroid impacts, etc.

3. Check to see whether you remembered to procure a sheet of paper or other writing surface. If not, you probably should have put that on the list of things that could go wrong in step 2.

4. Count your fingers. Report any deficiencies to the proper authorities. Early detection is essential.

5. Roll up your sleeves and get to work. But first, now that your sleeves are rolled up, what is that curious blotchy patch on the inside of your elbow? Perhaps you should see a dermatologist.

6. Write, using proper spelling and grammar. Editors are likely to be so favorably impressed by proper spelling and grammar that they will accept your submission even if it is otherwise hysterical pro-Nazi propaganda.