IN THE NEWS.

Pittsburgh city police have rounded up more than three hundred suspected NFL draft dodgers, according to a spokesman for the Department of Public Safety. The offenders were discovered in libraries, art museums, tea shops, and other venues where the mandated 24-hour events coverage was not available. The spokesman said that the offenders would be transported in a specially secured trolley to the Gateway subway station, where they would be handed over to NFL officials for reeducation.