OH, THE EXCITEMENT…

Your Windows update is complete. See 5 of the latest features.”

Gosh, this is exciting! What wonderful new capabilities has Windows added?

1. You can see the battery-status percentage in the taskbar.

2. Now you can use WEBP images as desktop backgrounds without having to convert them to JPEG format.

3. “The Emoji 16.09 release introduces new, thoughtfully curated emoji…” If your chief complaint about Windows was that the emoji were curated without sufficient thought, you can stop complaining now.

4. Microsoft Paint now has a free-rotate feature. “No more fixed orientations or workarounds…”

5. “The revamped Start menu puts your favorite apps front and center with smarter organization.” This means grouping the apps in categories. Microsoft will decide for you which of six categories your apps go in. Some of the writing programs, for example, ended up in “Productivity”; most ended up in “Other.” This is probably Bing AI’s subtle dig at the quality of your writing.

These are not all the new features added in the latest update. They are just the most exciting ones.

And now your essay question for the comments section: Where did Linus Torvalds get enough money pay Microsoft to advertise Linux so unsubtly?

Comments

  1. Belfry Bat says:

    My good Doctor seems remarkably up-to-date on such things, it seems almost uncanny. I haven’t booted a Window™ in years, myself.

  2. Bill says:

    Thank you for saying it out loud. When I came to the screen about Paint my first thought was, “I didn’t know Paint was still alive”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *