Dear Dr. Boli: Every so often I hear people talk about “the mysterious East,” as though everyone knew what that meant. What do they mean when they talk about “the mysterious East”? —Sincerely, A Professional Sinologist.

Dear Sir or Madam: They mean that, in spite of having some of the most delicious cuisines on the face of our planetary conglobation, ordinary people in China and Japan and nearby places have enthusiastically adopted American fast food. This is a mystery no ordinary theory can account for, and experts believe it can only be explained by quantum psychology.