URGENTLY SEEKING MEN ages 18 to 59 for comprehensive study of medical effects of exposure to falling anvils. You will be compensated well for your time, as our secretary has baked a nice cake. Falling anvils are one of the chief hazards facing pedestrians today, yet far too little is known of the exact physiological effects of anvil impact. You (or your heirs) will have the distinct satisfaction of knowing that you are contributing to the forward march of medical science. Contact ACME GRAVITATIONAL STUDIES, LLC, East Liberty.