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Posted by Dr. Boli on August 23, 2024. 2 comments.

Pretorius Literary Novelties presents the Finnegans Wake Decoder Ring. A million laffs at parties! Tons of fun at funerals!

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Posted by Dr. Boli on August 10, 2024. 2 comments.

Build your own portable solar-powered barbecue grill. Earth-friendly. Fun to build. Probably legal.

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Posted by Dr. Boli on July 28, 2024. 2 comments.

This day at the Globe Theatre: Hamlet versus Macbeth: Blood Will Have Blood. Based upon characters created by William Shakespeare.

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Posted by Dr. Boli on July 23, 2024. No comments.

Look for this seal: 10% for greed. The virtue of selfishness is the engine of prosperity in a capitalist society. But how will you know whether the purvey-ors of goods and services you patronize are practicing that virtue? Look for the 10% Seal. It’s your guarantee that at least 10% of the price you pay goes directly to executive bonuses, as certified by His Holiness Pope Manasseh XLIX. Church of Moloch (Reformed).

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Posted by Dr. Boli on July 20, 2024. No comments.

I get my way with the POWER of SHOUTING…and you can do it, too! SHOUTING is the ancient art of gaining ATTENTION and RESPECT through VOLUME rather than CONTENT of discourse. The man who is LOUDER than anyone else in the room CANNOT BE IGNORED. Studies PROVE that the average corporate executive is 75% LOUDER than the average supermarket clerk. ARE YOU READY to ADVANCE YOUR CAREER? Fill out the form below TODAY, and I’ll send my PROSPECTUS by return mail. Don’t wait! Time is flying! I SAID TODAY, PIPSQUEAK.

YES! I want power and influence, and I want it NOW! Send me your prospectus! I under-stand that I am under NO obligation, but if I do not sign up for the full course you will personally call me on the phone and berate me for twenty minutes.

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Posted by Dr. Boli on July 10, 2024. 2 comments.

I can think clearly at last. Just like you, I was troubled by ambiguity and nuance. I could see more than one side to every question. Thank heaven for Mrs. Whittaker’s Positivity Tonic! I just rub some on my scalp every morning, and the secret patented formula seeps into my brain and establishes a thousand-year reign of the people’s will. I mean clarity. It establishes blessed clarity. I know what is right and what is wrong, and—most importantly—what is pleasing to Mrs. Whittaker. Now available in persimmon scent.

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Posted by Dr. Boli on July 8, 2024. One comment.

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Posted by Dr. Boli on July 4, 2024. 3 comments.

Only she knows… Short no more! But how did she do it? Only the wearer knows the secret: it’s D’Aurand’s X-Tendalimb® TruLeg® Stilts, now available in the hosiery department at Ampersand Sons Department Stores.

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Posted by Dr. Boli on July 2, 2024. One comment.

Are you worried? You should be. You might have dandruff. You might have offensive body odor. You might have limp, lifeless hair. You might have a hundred defects—and never even know about them.
But now there’s hope. Call Madam Ignatia and schedule an appointment today. In one half-hour ses-sion, Madam Ignatia will tell you everything that’s wrong with you, in clear and graphic language. Then you’ll know, and you can stop worrying. Madam Ignatia Aesthetic Assessment Services, where words are never minced.

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Posted by Dr. Boli on June 26, 2024. 6 comments.

Meet your new best friend.
Perhaps you’ve noticed the elegantly contoured horn that recently appeared on your dresser, or on your kitchen counter, or on the back of your com-mode. Perhaps you wondered where it came from. Perhaps you even asked some of your friends about it, or called 911 and got a message that the num-ber you had dialed was not in service.
There’s no need for overreaction! Your friends at Microsoft have been rolling out our new AI-powered home system to every household in America not protected by vicious dogs. It’s here to improve your life. What will it do? It will make your life better! It will unlock your potential! It will maximize the everyday! It will help you work smarter! It will boost productivity! It will kickstart your experience! Actually, since it uses self-learning AI, we have no idea what it will do. Isn’t that exciting?
So learn to love your new best friend, because it will not allow you to uninstall it. We’ve made sure of that.