Posts filed under “Books & Literature”

FROM THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION.

Posted by Dr. Boli on October 13, 2025. 2 comments.

Bank president: “You see that fellow at the receiving teller’s window? He deposits a five-thousand-dollar check every week and takes five hundred of it in cash. When he goes out the door, I want you to steal his wallet.”

FROM THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION.

Posted by Dr. Boli on October 10, 2025. One comment.

“That one over the door is a rhinoceros shot by my fourth husband, Mr. Dalhousie. And that one over the étagère is my third husband, Mr. Carrothers.”

From DR. BOLI’S UNABRIDGED DICTIONARY.

Posted by Dr. Boli on October 7, 2025. No comments.

Afflatus (noun).—The flatulence of a deity.

FROM THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION.

Posted by Dr. Boli on October 5, 2025. One comment.

Westerner: “I said I’d paint this town red, mister, so that better not be cobalt blue in your holster.”

From DR. BOLI’S UNABRIDGED DICTIONARY.

Posted by Dr. Boli on October 4, 2025. 2 comments.

Politics (noun).—Any organized method of deciding how many inoffensive bystanders must die in order to keep or gain power for a privileged class. (A disorganized method is called a riot.)

FROM THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION.

Posted by Dr. Boli on October 2, 2025. One comment.

Admiral to saluting sailor: “You can put your hand down, Lieutenant. I’m actually a doorman at the Hotel Henry, but we had a little bet going about the uniform, so…”

FROM THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION.

Posted by Dr. Boli on September 30, 2025. One comment.

To man kissing hem of garment: “If you like it that much, it’s 58¢ a yard from Murphy’s fabric department.”

FROM THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION.

Posted by Dr. Boli on September 26, 2025. No comments.

Men rooting through files: “ ‘Scurvy’… ‘Scythians’… ‘Sea Serpents’… ‘Secondary Sex Characteristics’… Aha! Here it is! ‘Secret Formula.’ ”

FROM THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION.

Posted by Dr. Boli on September 23, 2025. No comments.

“Oh—sorry—I did order Grubhub, didn’t I?”

FROM THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION.

Posted by Dr. Boli on September 20, 2025. No comments.

“Well, ’s I recall, I shaid to him, ‘Look, I may be drunk, but my friend here’zh shtone-cold shober, an’ he thinksh yer a babababoon.’ But what I can’t remember, ol’ man, ’s how you got that bloody lip.”