Posts filed under “Popular Entertainment”
MODEST STEIN AND THE KEYSTONE COPS.
Illustration by Modest Stein of a scene from The Auctioneer, a silent-film adaptation of the play by Charles Klein and Lee Arthur. From an advertisement for the film in Motion Picture News, May 8, 1926.
It turns out that Stein was momentarily quite famous under another name way back in 1892. He was part of the trio of Emma Goldman, Alexander Berkman, and Modest Aronstam who plotted to assassinate Henry Frick in 1892. He got away with his part in the conspiracy, changed his last name, and prospered. (And, to be fair, it’s hard to say whether trying to assassinate Frick should earn you a jail term or a government pension.)
Now, isn’t it a shame that the age of two-reel silent comedies is over? We can imagine how Mack Sennett would have taken this hint from Stein’s Wikipedia article and turned it into a perfect scenario.
On his way to blow up Frick’s house with pockets full of dynamite, Stein—then still called Aronstam—saw a newspaper with a headline warning against “Aaron Stamm” as a Berkman conspirator. He became frightened, dumped the explosives in an outhouse, and returned to New York.
That is how Wikipedia tells the story. But in the Mack Sennett version, the big gag comes when the cop who’s been chasing him for the past reel and a half decides he has to go to the outhouse and takes his cigar with him.
PUZZLE TIME.
IN THEATRICAL NEWS.
COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU.
COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU.
TRY TO IMAGINE HIS ACT.

The advertisement above makes us wonder whether the shortage of lady leapers was directly related to the lack of an experienced catcher.
TONIGHT ON YOHOGANIA PUBLIC RADIO.
Culture Watch.—Tonight: The 47 ways overexplaining is destroying our culture. Featuring a panel of experts in psychology, education, astrology, media studies, chiropractic, auto mechanics, epidemiology, nuclear physics, backgammon, gender studies, zymurgy, and fourteenth-century Catalan poetry. 7 p.m. till our last expert drops from exhaustion.
COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS.
THE FUNNIEST MAN YOU KNOW.
A Vaudeville Patter.
The pit orchestra plays a lively melody, but the performer must recite everything in a dour monotone.
I’m the funniest man you know.
I’m a regular one-man show,
Cause I put ’em in stitches wherever I go.
I’m the funniest man you know.
(Music stops.)
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause chickens are stupid, that’s why!
(Music resumes.)
I’m the funniest man in town.
Why, they simply can’t keep me down.
Say, at every swell party, I’m always the clown.
I’m the funniest man in town.
(Music stops.)
You know, my dog has no nose. How does he smell? I can’t figure it out!
(Music resumes.)
I’m the funniest man on earth.
I’ve been killin’ ’em dead since birth,
And my ma always said, for whatever it’s worth,
I’m the funniest man on earth.
(Music stops.)
What’s black and white and red all over? I’m askin’ cause it’s crawlin’ up my arm.
(Jazzy instrumental rideout chorus, during which the theater manager wrestles the performer off the stage.)