A for the Alchemist—a wise old man
Who can’t change lead to gold (but thinks he can).
He spends his fruitless days concocting potions
To stop the rushing atoms in their motions.
So far he hasn’t had the least success—
Though, as you see, he’s made an awful mess—
And yet he hasn’t failed at alchemy:
He’s funded by the University.



From Dr. Boli’s Encyclopedia of Misinformation.

Pills. The commonly recommended expedient of cutting a pill in half to reduce the dosage is largely ineffective, as most of the active ingredients tend to settle in one side of the pill.