ARE YOU TIRED of being left out when all your friends are exercising unlimited power and invisibly guiding the course of world events? Dr. Boli invites you to join the Quadrilateral Commission, a secret organization (we prefer the term “cabal”) known only to readers of this magazine. Our single goal is to arrange all elections, wars, treaties, trade agreements, agricultural regulations, network television schedules, parking fines, tax exemptions, football scores, milk prices, and global climate changes to redound to our own advantage. To join the conspiracy, it is necessary only to nod affirmatively, as we control the World-Wide Web and have the ability to monitor you through your computer screen. Join now and receive, as a free bonus, the election of the prothonotary of your choice anywhere in the world.