TONIGHT AT EIGHT.

Dumont Network: Takedown Notice (crime drama). A fast-paced new drama focusing on the heroic self-appointed enforcers of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. Tonight: Dirk and Moira are horrified to discover that the infamous “Dragon Lady” blogger who posted five tracks from the unreleased Odious Daughters album is hosted on a Chinese server.

The Brimstone Channel: The Jesus Show, with the Reverend Bob-Bob Lee (religion). Tonight: The Rev. Bob-Bob explains how the current economic troubles were actually prophesied in 1 Chronicles 4:36.

Northern Broadcasting System: Stones of the City (crime drama). This latest entry in the vampire-building-inspector genre follows the adventures of Sam Ionescu, inspector for the city of Washington (Penna.). Tonight: Sam is called to investigate at the Luna Park funhouse—unaware that the trouble is in the Hall of Mirrors.

Metromedia: Al ’n’ Me (comedy). The wacky adventures of best buddies Alexander and Hephaestion as they look for new worlds to conquer. Tonight: Who’s going to tell Al that he’s got spinach stuck between his teeth? Certainly not Hephaestion.

Golf Network: The Golf Show (golf). Tonight: How a really loud check pattern can improve your distance and accuracy.

Baldwin Borough Community TV: Baldwin Borough Council Meeting (public affairs). Tonight: Debate on bailing out the Merchants & Usurers State Bank, whose president will go bankrupt if he has to pay all those parking tickets.

Wolf Broadcasting Corporation: Fries with That (reality). The hot new reality show that takes ten new college graduates, puts them in dead-end jobs, and leaves them there forever. Tonight: Fernando discovers a new chemical that repels dirt like magic and keeps an automotive finish looking fresh for decades, and his boss at the car wash kills him.

The Lawnmower Channel: The Reel Thing (yardwork). A nostalgic look back at the days before powered lawn mowers, and a visit to one eccentric who still uses a mechanical mower today.

Science Central: Science Now (documentary). Tonight: “The Higgs Boson.” A live broadcast of services from St. Maxwell’s Cathedral, featuring a homily by Bishop Michelson Morley Smith of the First Church of the Higgs Boson in Point Breeze.

Comments

  1. Jeff says:

    WBC’s Fries with That episode feels like déjà vu, so it should be squarely in the “documentary” category, not “reality.” When will these networks ever learn to get their facts straight? I’m so angry.

  2. Craig says:

    These are exquisite, as usual. A favorite is the Golf Network: “How a really loud check pattern can improve your distance and accuracy.” I think there’s something to that!

  3. J.H.T. Rumsford IV says:

    Dear Dr. Boli:

    While I agree with the Golf Network premise that a loud check pattern is necessary for distance and accuracy, can you please comment on the rumor that only an aggressive use of paisley will improve one’s “short-game” performance, specifically putting?

    Gratefully yours,

    J.H.T. Rumsford IV
    Snodgrass Country Club

  1. […] DR. BOLI. Dear Dr. Boli: While I agree with the Golf Network premise that a loud check pattern is necessary for distance and accuracy, can you please comment on the […]

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