Dumont Network: Takedown Notice (crime drama). A fast-paced new drama focusing on the heroic self-appointed enforcers of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. Tonight: Dirk and Moira investigate the shadowy underworld of “libraries,” where urban legend says that copyrighted books are loaned for free.
The Brimstone Channel: The Jesus Show, with the Reverend Bob-Bob Lee (religion). Tonight: Sister Thugg and the Hallelujah Squad join the Rev. Bob-Bob to sing their biggest hit, “Jesus Loves Me More (’Cause He Loves You Less).”
Northern Broadcasting System: Stones of the City (crime drama). This latest entry in the vampire-building-inspector genre follows the adventures of Sam Ionescu, inspector for the city of Washington (Penna.). Tonight: Sam is dating a girl who’s afraid of the dark. Predictable complications ensue.
Metromedia: Al ’n’ Me (comedy). The wacky adventures of best buddies Alexander and Hephaestion as they look for new worlds to conquer. Tonight: Running for a second term as Emperor of the Known World, Al blows his stack when he discovers that his opponent is Hephaestion in a false beard.
Golf Network: The Golf Show (golf). Tonight: How to fold a working origami niblick.
Baldwin Borough Community TV: Baldwin Borough Council Meeting (public affairs). Tonight: Motion to invest the pension fund at Wheeling Downs to shore up the faltering economy.
Wolf Broadcasting Corporation: Fries with That (reality). The hot new reality show that takes ten new college graduates, puts them in dead-end jobs, and leaves them there forever. Tonight: Feeling wacky and madcap, Lucy flouts the Fish ’n’ Fry uniform policy by wearing one black sock and one dark blue sock.
The Lawnmower Channel: Dang Bicycle Tracks (debate). A live debate between the Angustifolia Woodby Intermediate School debate team and crotchety old Lemuel Crinkle down the street.
Science Central: Peer Review (reality). In this new reality show, aspiring young scientists bring their papers for “peer review,” where their quality is judged by audience applause.