ARE YOU DEAD? You may be eligible to participate in a study being conducted by the Monongahela Valley Society for Psychical Research. Weekly seances are conducted at the Society’s offices on Eighth Avenue in Munhall above Ferd’s Pizza. Three raps on our round table will be considered an expression of interest. Please rap distinctly, so as to distinguish your communication from the ordinary commercial activities of Ferd. A small stipend will be paid to your estate on completion of the study. Monongahela Valley Society for Psychical Research, Munhall.