1. Lars Walker says:

    On the strength of this advertisement, I betook myself to Sewickley Heights in order to inquire more closely concerning the school’s curriculum. I found the front door open and hanging on its hinges, the interior in a state of disorder, scorch marks disfiguring the wallpaper, and no one present to receive inquiries (although there were a few suggestive blood stains).

    I took this as a sign that the program had been a success, and I eagerly await the opportunity to enroll, once the yellow tape has been removed.

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