DR. BOLI’S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MISINFORMATION.

Founding Fathers Supplement.

Adams, John. According to the rationalist scheme proposed in the first draft of the Constitution of the United States, John Adams was scheduled to be the first President, followed by Josiah Bartlett, and then George Clymer, and so on down the alphabet. No provision was made for more than 25 presidential administrations, the letter J being, as usual for the time, left out. The scheme was scuttled when George Washington pointed out that he himself would be 143 years of age at the commencement of his term of office.

Carroll, Charles. Charles Carroll of Carrollton refused to attend the Continental Congress without his wife, Carol Carroll of Carrollton.

Franklin, Benjamin. In addition to his many other accomplishments, Benjamin Franklin invented the first practical secret decoder ring.

Hancock, John. In his grammar-school days, young Johnny Hancock consistently earned Fs in penmanship.

J., John. Though he was tremendously influential in the early days of the United States of America, ultimately becoming the first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, the mysterious John J. steadfastly refused to reveal his surname, and indeed carried his secret with him to the grave.

Jefferson, Thomas. Thomas Jefferson delighted in mechanical pranks, and dozens of visitors to Monticello are still injured every year by his amusing little booby traps scattered about the house.

Washington, George. Besides his wooden teeth, George Washington also had Fiberglas toenails.

Comments

  1. Peter J. Piper, M.D. says:

    It is also an historical fact that Daniel Webster was responsible for creating both the “Here I sit broken hearted” bathroom poem and the now famous Nantucket Series of limericks.

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