1. Sean says:

    I’m running out of grocers! At first it was only the specific Giant Eagles where I had beaten the stockboy senseless that refused me entry, but now my image hangs above the customer service counter of every location with a note advising the baggers to use “Any means necessary to effect removal.”

  2. Ebonmuse says:

    This is sheer genius. Next up: Homeopathic gasoline. I can run my car for trillions of years with just a few drops of gas!

    • drboli says:

      Dr. Boli is not an expert on homeopathy, but (if he understands his advertisers’ claims correctly), the principle is that what causes a symptom in large doses will cure it in infinitesimal doses. Gasoline makes a car go, but brakes make it stop. To create a powerful homeopathic fuel for an automobile, then, Dr. Boli would imagine that an extremely attenuated dilution of brake dust would be most suitable.

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