MR. ADALBERT BROX was arrested in Shadyside on suspicion of playing the oboe. He was released without charge when investigators confirmed that the instrument in question was in fact an English horn.

Four young Middle-Eastern-looking males were reported shopping in a suspicious manner at the Blandville Foodland on Bland Street. By the time officers arrived at the scene, the youths had made their purchases and gone home. Police are asking members of the public to call with any information about the incident.

Vandals reversed the R and the E on twelve street signs along Centre Avenue in Shadyside some time last night. Police are making inquiries in the English Department at Chatham University.

Miss Elzevira Pockett locked herself out of her 1984 Plymouth Reliant again. Police used C-4 to remove the door on the driver’s side.

The mayor was arrested for violating city youth curfew laws last night. Although he insisted that he was over eighteen years of age, he was not able to produce any identification. He is being held at the Public Safety Building “until this business with the pension fund is worked out,” according to a police spokesman.