DR. BOLI’S PRESS-CLIPPING BUREAU.

ZELIENOPLE (Special to the Dispatch).—Protests against a new policy by the Grimshawe Linen & Scientific Instrument Company here turned violent when demonstrators began hurling underwear at police.

The rally was called to protest against the Grimshawe company’s new policy of offering its well-known Decimal Underwear in packages of two, rather than in the orders-of-magnitude bundles previously offered.

“Binary underwear is not decimal,” said Mr. Nicholas Rackett of the Dravosburg Interplanetary Society in a speech through a megaphone. “What’s next? Octal underwear? Hexadecimal underwear? We demand a return to rationality.”

The demonstration began to spiral out of control when members of the Kappa Tau Lambda fraternity at Duck Hollow University arrived with a Grimshawe brand “ten-cubed” bundle of one thousand pairs of 1-cm plaid boxer shorts.

At least twenty protesters were arrested, but officers released them without charge when they agreed to say they were very very sorry and would not hurl underwear at anyone ever again.