Swinburne’s Iambic Goatwrangler (Passer suinburni). Brownish above, whitish below. Oft in the evenings we hear the throaty call of “Manhole-cover, manhole-cover,” which may or may not proceed from this elusive bird; nobody knows for sure.
Bundled Sideswipe (Passer laterithwackus). Brownish above, whitish below. Nearly always drunk on fermented aronia berries, the Sideswipe is an outcast shunned by the other birds of our back yards, and with some justification. It seldom calls, but when it does it calls collect.
Greensburg Oriole (Passer greensburgensis). Lights up the backyard landscape with its cheery brown-and-white plumage. Noted for its charmingly anachronistic insistence that communists lurk under every bed. Call a querulous “al-ger-HISS, al-ger-HISS,” followed by inarticulate sputtering.
Brown-Capped Cheesemonger (Passer passer var. passer). Brownish above, whitish below. A dull bird, easily overlooked, and of no use to anyone at all. If it calls, most of us have the good sense not to answer.