SAVE YOUR RECEIPTS from every purchase you make. When you have accumulated a fair number of receipts, fold them into a kind of codex and write a novel on the blank sides.
Quit your job. The money you save on commuting could pay for a very nice vacation on the sunny shores of Lake Erie!
After paying the bill, linger at the end of the checkout line in the supermarket fiddling with your wallet or looking for your keys. The bagger may start putting someone else’s groceries in your bags.
Always drive in a straight line. Since a straight line is the shortest distance between two points, it is always the most fuel-efficient route. Beware of vertical deviations as well as horizontal ones.
This winter, instead of paying for natural gas or fuel oil, heat your house by setting the furniture on fire. In the spring you can replace it with more furniture from the thrift store at surprisingly reasonable prices.
Leave your monitor turned off when you use your computer. You’ll save up to 23% on your electric bill, and as a bonus you’ll be sharpening your memory skills.
Stop paying income taxes. Although it seems counterintuitive, if you stop paying federal income taxes, the federal government will actually step in and pay for your room and board!