DR. BOLI’S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MISINFORMATION.

Annual Christmas Number.

Chaser lights. Psychiatric research indicates that up to 45% of psychotic episodes during the month of December can be attributed to the influence of chaser lights used as Christmas decorations.

Fruitcake. It is estimated by competent authorities that more than 450,000 fruitcakes travel through the mail every year, in spite of the Post Office’s best efforts to detect and destroy them.

Magi. One of the Wise Men had originally purchased a Temple marketplace gift card for the infant King of the Jews, but the other two persuaded him that frankincense would be in better taste.

Reindeer. Although “eight tiny reindeer” are an enduring part of traditional Christmas imagery, for practical reasons they have long since been replaced on Santa’s sleigh by four medium-sized Pratt & Whitney turbine engines.

Wreath. The Christmas wreath was originally an instrument of execution. Although the ancient Druidic custom of hanging a maiden from an evergreen tree to ensure the return of spring has died out in most of its former range, the jolly symbolism of the evergreen noose remains one of our most cherished midwinter traditions.