Dear Dr. Boli: Why is the British royal couple still on TV news? Didn’t our forefathers fight a revolutionary war to get away from those meddling distractions? —Sincerely, “cs.”

Dear Sir or Madam: Our forefathers fought a revolutionary war to deprive King George of his authority over them. Since that time, the British monarchy has taken a more diplomatic—one might almost say Machiavellian—course. Giving up the appearance of power, the royal house has pursued the substance instead. In our own time, the younger members, one of whom will inherit the throne at some time in the near future, have succeeded in distilling themselves into the essence of pure celebrity. As every American knows, celebrity is the only form of power we recognize. Thus the British royal family, having failed to hold America by the rather clumsy expedient of resorting to force, has succeeded in reconquering its former possessions by the exercise of a far more insidious kind of strength.

Fortunately the Windsors’ intentions are benign. They merely desire to save us, their wandering children, from our juvenile and dangerous flirtation with a republican form of government.