Dear Dr. Boli: Last week my husband bought me a new shampoo whose label advertised that it was formulated with “energizing ginseng.” Now my hair is the life of the party, but the rest of me can’t keep up. I’ve switched to a chamomile-scented shampoo, but the ginseng doesn’t seem to be wearing off. How can I rein in my hair without hurting its delicate feelings, or causing split ends? I do not wish to damage a lifelong relationship. —Sincerely, the Hon. “Pickles” Worthington.

Dear Madam: It is regrettably necessary in such situations as the one you describe to be absolutely firm with one’s hair. Give it an inch and it will take an ell, especially if it is under the influence of dangerous herbal preparations. Have you tried immersing your follicles in a bucket of lukewarm water? Ten minutes should do the trick, one way or another.