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  1. Jared says:

    In the past, I’d vote and get the candidate I deserve. This has proven less felicitous than anticipated. How might I go about obtaining one I don’t deserve?

  2. As a Judge of Elections, I heartily endorse the idea of holding elections as frequently as possible, because I get 200 bucks for every election I judge, and I need the money.

  3. Jared says:

    As a precinct captain, I vociferously oppose this idea, and sometimes entertain pleasant notions of hereditary monarchy.

    As a legislative staffer, my interactions with the general public only confirm the desirability of those notions.

    Finally, as one employed in the political realm, I disclaim the above as mere jest, lest I someday be harangued as a Royalist.

  4. Alan Kellogg says:

    While Mr. Harding as pertinent points to make, his vital status leaves much to be desired in a President.

  5. zeppflyer says:

    At least he’s not Mitt Romney…

    • Jared says:

      The great thing about Mitt Romney is that neither is he if you don’t want him to be.

      The other great thing about Mitt Romney is that he isn’t Rick Perry, Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, or Ron Paul.

  6. Jared says:

    Even Jon Huntsman can’t be John Huntsman. He can no sooner adopt an aspirated “h” than successfully tell a joke.

  1. […] Warren Harding, thinking outside of his wooden box, is campaigning for President in the 2011 elections, cleverly cutting his opponents off a year […]

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