VOCATIONAL TRAINING COURSES. Insure your future in one of our fast-growing fields. Learn carriage building, type­writer repair, phonograph service, adding-machine maintenance, kineto­scope operation, telegraphy, steam engineering, periwig grooming, type­setting, phrenology, daguerreotyping. Always be in demand! Modern Vo­cational Institute, Dravosburg.

ARE YOU SHY? So are we. Chances are you’ll never get up the courage to contact us, and we’re certainly too bashful to get in touch with you. Pathetic, isn’t it? League of Timid Persons, address withheld.