A NEAR-RIOT marred the premiere of Irving Vanderblock-Wheedle’s new experimental drama Exeunt Omnes last night, as hundreds of disgruntled patrons demanded their money back. According to one ticket-holder, as soon as the curtain rose, all the actors walked off stage and never came back. In an email exchange, Mr. Vanderblock-Wheedle said that his play is a witty and ironic commentary on modern society’s demand for incessant entertainment, and as such was worth every penny of the ticket price.