OUR VALUED CORRESPONDENTS.

EVERY SO OFTEN Dr. Boli takes the time to respond to some of his correspondents whose comments he has not been able to publish in the usual way, for one reason or another.

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As Napoleon once observed, from product placement in television dramas and motion pictures to product placement in nineteenth-century adventure novels there is only one step. That is the glory of our capitalist system.

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Does Holy Scripture need to be registered before all its features are available? Has Dr. Boli been using it wrong all these years?

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I always avoid you, so I miss you, finally I lost you, that at the moment I miss you so much.

Here Dr. Boli might have said that, if the correspondent misses him, it is the correspondent’s fault for always avoiding him. Dr. Boli would not be entirely honest, however, without confessing that he would avoid this correspondent with equal assiduity.

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Dr. Boli believes that “inwards auditory modality” may be what is otherwise known as tinnitus; but he is not a doctor of medicine, and suggests that his correspondent consult a qualified specialist.

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With great regret Dr. Boli must refuse his correspondent’s flattering proposal, but he hopes that they may remain good friends.

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We have not put forth our cheap soccer cleats for kids on a take-it-or-leave-it basis. We have indicated that we’re willing to discuss the proposals that have been put forth by the other side. We have declared that cheap adidas soccer shoes is negotiable, except the right of the people of South Vietnam to determine their own future.

For some reason Mr. Richard Nixon has been leaving regular comments with Dr. Boli, attempting to sell him shoes and handbags the way he once sold us escalation in Vietnam. In fact he seems not to be able to distinguish the two issues. Dr. Boli wishes him greater success in his new career than he had in the former one.

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It takes a very sensitive nature to be able to empathize so intimately with athletic footwear. Having said that, Dr. Boli really does not know what else to say.

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For some reason this comment had Dr. Boli checking the street in front of the house for unmarked vans.