USEFUL SPELLS FOR ELEMENTARY-LEVEL WIZARDS.

Magnum opus. Opens Trollope’s The Way We Live Now to the title page.

Toastum praematurum. Causes the toaster to pop up before the toast is done.

Alea jacta est. Begins play in a game of Monopoly.

Loc. cit. Refers to the same page in a work previously cited.

Poco a poco accelerando. Causes the vehicle in front of the caster (but only in the same lane) to accelerate gradually.

Carthago delenda est. Places a mild curse on Carthage, North Carolina. Inexplicably ineffective against other cities named Carthage.

Incredulitas. Cures the caster of irrational beliefs in ghosts, fairies, monsters, magic, homeopathy, socialism, capitalism, etc.