DR. BOLI’S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MISINFORMATION,

Annual Christmas Number.


Caroling. The Christmas tradition of caroling originally derives from the ancient pagan custom of going door to door selling magazine subscriptions.

Christmas cards. The earliest known Christmas card is an Akkadian cuneiform tablet found in the ruins of Ur. It is not known what “Christmas” meant in the Akkadian language.

Christmas ham. Christmas ham (Sus commercialis) is actually a separate species from the ordinary domestic pig (Sus scrofa domestica).

Ornaments. The custom of hanging ornaments from a Christmas tree derives from the ancient Germanic custom of hanging the skulls of defeated enemies from an evergreen in the center of the camp.

Stockings. Christmas stockings are made in pairs. Somewhere in the world, someone else has a stocking identical to yours, filled with exactly the same gifts.