An English teacher at Blandville Area Senior High School was disciplined by the school board today after it was revealed that she had allowed her students to read a “novel” entitled Don Quixote by an obscure Spanish writer.

“Students need to understand that ‘novels’ are nothing but claptrap and lies,” said Superintendent of Schools J. Pillington Bleek. “The very word ‘fiction’ indicates that the writings so designated are not true.  Non-fiction reading is the only kind of reading required or permitted by modern educational theory.”

The unnamed teacher has been placed on probation, but is permitted to keep her current pay grade under the condition that she assign as her next class reading the instructional manual for the classroom’s new 48-inch flat-screen television.


  1. Clay Potts says:

    “Owner manuals in the classroom” do also have the added benefit of offering a student an opportunity to become multilingual without the undue stresses language departments typically place on football budgets.

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