If you purchased a Giant Inflatable Good Friday Yard Crucifix from Wenslowe’s Holiday Yard Ornament Emporium, please return it at once to the dealer. The Consumer Product Safety Commission has determined that the Wenslowe Giant Inflatable Good Friday Yard Crucifix is egregiously tasteless and contributes to the degradation of aesthetic standards in neighborhoods where it is installed. Each Giant Inflatable Good Friday Yard Crucifix will be replaced with a Wenslowe “Strange Fruit” brand Deciduous-Tree Easter Bunny Hanging Set at no additional cost to the consumer.


  1. Sean says:

    Every time I see an inflatable Nativity, I can’t decide whether it would be blasphemy or an act of deep piety to take a pocket knife to it.

  2. Depends on whether or not it has an inflatable Santa Claus kneeling at mangerside.

  3. John M says:

    Wouldn’t nails be a problem for an inflatable crucifix?

  4. Not to mention the crown of thorns! But it would make Easter Egg Hunts simultaneously a lot easier and a lot harder. The eggs would always be in the tomb, but you’d have to roll away the big heavy stone to get at them.

    Unless, of course, the stone is also inflatable.

  5. Christ is the Word of God, and the Word of God is a two-edgéd sword, so Christ is a two-edgéd sword, thereby posing a problem for the Giant Inflatable Good Friday Yard Crucifix, regardless of nails or thorns.

    Jeffery Hodges

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