ASK DR. BOLI.

My dear Dr. Boli: I keep wondering about that ugly-sounding hybrid word bromance. What is it implying? That men no longer have friendships unless they are somewhat romantic? Is there a sister word, too, like sistmance, or can women have friendships but men cannot? Is friendship a dying art? —Sincerely, D. King’s Daughter.

Dear Madam: “Bromance” is used to describe friendships only between creatures called “bros.” Though they can hybridize with Homo sapiens sapiens, they are not strictly speaking men. As Mr. Salvatore Magundi has explained elsewhere, the difference between a “bro” (or “guy”) and a “man” is that the masculinity of the former is conditional. Thus when a “bro” sees two others of his own kind forming a deep friendship (admittedly an unusual occurrence), he believes that they have lost their masculinity, and that only a vigorous response characterized by taunts and insulting names can prevent the infection from spreading to himself. This is more a religious belief than a pseudoscientific one: the “bro” sees the friendship as a kind of ritual uncleanness that can be contracted by contact or even proximity.

Men, on the other hand, seldom worry about their masculinity. Dr. Boli is of the opinion, in fact, that any man who worries excessively about his masculinity would be better off without it anyway. Men are as free to form friendships as women are, and there is therefore no similarly insulting term for friendships between members of the species Homo sapiens sapiens.

Comments

  1. Clay Potts says:

    Dear Madame,

    While I have no additional insight into the term, “bromance”, I would like to address your concerns about the future of (male) friendship.

    Friendship between men is not a dying art, as it is not an “art” at all. With men, friendship is a science. Male friendship is an organic compound seldom comprised of only two single elements, most commonly a tetra-compound, which remains inert until a fast acting catalyst, (usually beer), is introduced to create a violent reaction and eruption, (much like that erupting volcano experiment everyone remembers from eighth-grade chemistry class), of noxious fumes, (involuntary belches, flatulence, and acute emesis), followed by unconsciousness and a slow re-stabilization to its pre-catalyst inertial state.

    Yes, war is an art, dying is even an art, but male friendship, it’s just elementary science.

  2. John M says:

    I always thought the term bromance referred to using the element Bromine for pest control in one’s mansion. Does Bromine have a bromance with the alkali metals, such as Sodium or Potassium?

  3. Elementium Miner says:

    Ok, but am I a “guy” because I choose to, say, not wear women’s clothing? Does that qualify as worrying about masculinity?

    And what about worrying about worrying about masculinity? Seems a touch neurotic, no?

  4. Zombie Psychologist says:

    Oh oh oh oh, ooooooh oh oh oh, ooooooh!
    Caught in a rad bromance.

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