Dear Dr. Boli: I am very impressed with your extensive knowledge of the steel pen and I just know you are the one to confront with the question of “stationary”. Whatever is the origin of the name “stationary” for an object which is very obviously, even to the least keen eye, paper, and well, anything but, stationary? Anyone who has ever tried to write a letter on it with one hand, while eating a sandwich with the other, or to maintain a neat stack of it near an open window on a windy day will attest that stationary is its least natural state or tendency. Alas, I do have my own humble theory as to its possible origin, that it is in direct reference to the earliest material used to record pictography—the stone cave wall, arguably possessing very stationary properties. This seems to my way of thinking, a perfectly reasonable explanation, however, I am told I tend to be much too literal in my thinking, missing many of the subtleties of life. So I close to await, with great anticipation, your answer, which I know I can consider certain as truth carved in stone. —Signed, Al Wheeslistnin.





  1. RepubAnon says:

    As Douglas Adams noted in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, if beauty is truth, truth is beauty. Thus, if one invents beautiful stories to explain observations (rather than conducting dull, drab research), the stories (being beautiful) are also truthful.

    To sum it up: Baron Munchausen’s stories were 100% truthful.

  2. David says:

    Everything I ever needed to know about stationery stationers I learned in Dr. Boli’s book, *The Crimes of Galahad.*

  3. Clay Potts says:

    Native Peoples of the United States also fell victim to an inadequate understanding of the English Language when they wrote Congress requesting permission to take scenic boat rides along the rivers and ocean shores of their former lands, when they stated their request in writing simply as, “Please, I sell buy my land?”

  4. Since this post is titled “Ask Dr. Boli,” I’ve a question: When does the celebration for your magazine take place?

    I ask because even though I don’t literally subscribe to your magazine, I do subscribe to many of your views, so I feel I should also be invited to the celebrations.

    Thanks in advance!

    Jeffery Hodges

    * * *

  1. […] Dr. Boli: Since this post is titled “Ask Dr. Boli,” I’ve a question: When does the celebration for your magazine take […]

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