The MITRE Corporation’s cybersecurity division reported yesterday that installations of Auto-Tune all over the world had begun making current pop singers sound like Jimmy Durante. At first some form of ransomware was suspected, but no demands for money were received. Instead, recording producers have reported finding their screens covered by what one described as a “screed” about the decline of talent in the music industry. The only clue was the signature, which was variously reported as “Zobar,” “Brazo,” “Ozbra,” and several similar variants. The Department of Homeland Security has raised the threat level to LightSalmon (#FFA07A).