Vice-President Harris is not third in line to the throne of Romania, as the Dispatch wrongly stated in an editorial Monday.

The number of teenage poets sharing their work through Instagram was incorrectly reported yesterday. There is no correct number, such poets being, of course, innumerable.

The statement “Everybody loves chocolate” on the front of the Thursday food section was ill-considered and intemperate.

The Dispatch is not “the city’s favorite source for news and information.” According to a recently released Gallup poll, the city’s favorite source for news and information is that guy at Krzrnsky’s Café who knows everybody.

Mount Everest has not been sold to a reclusive Indonesian billionaire. The buyer is Malaysian.

The laws of thermodynamics are not a Communist conspiracy, as incorrectly reported in Thursday’s “Science Today” column.

The Dispatch regrets these errors and has issued a formal apology to its legal department for making them stay till 5:15 on a Tuesday evening. Would you like us to come home with you and fluff your pillows for you, too?