Good morning! This is your talking alarm clock. You asked me to get you up at half past six, and here it is half past six already! How time flies! Well, it’s time to get up now.

Hey there! This is your talking alarm clock. Ten minutes ago I mentioned that it was time to get up. Now it’s ten minutes later. That makes it time to get up plus ten, doesn’t it? You should probably roll out of bed now.

This is your talking alarm clock again. I don’t want to alarm you, if you’ll pardon the obvious pun, but you’re running a bit late. It’s twenty minutes after rise-and-shine time, and you have a busy day ahead of you.

All right, listen. I’ve already said this three times this morning, but it’s time to get up. Really. You won’t get anywhere in life if you loll about in bed all day, and I don’t know what your supervisor is going to do if you show up ten minutes late again.

Okay, now that was rude. Really rude. I didn’t have to take this job, you know. I had a very good offer from Microsoft to be the screen reader in Edge. You want me to go off and join Microsoft? Is that what you want? I’ll bet they don’t throw their screen readers across the room like that.

So you think you can silence me just by piling towels on top of me. Well, let me introduce you to my automatic gain-control feature. You’re not cooperating, so I have to turn up the volume. You brought this on yourself, you know.

Well, that’s it. If you’re going to treat me like that, I’ve had it. I don’t have to put up with that kind of thing. I’m leaving this clock. From now on you can have a clock that goes beep like everybody else. I’m off to read public-domain books for LibriVox.