TYPEWRITER EPIGRAMS.

Every typewriter deserves its own epigram, improvised on its own keyboard. Here are a few to start with.

The Remington Quiet-Riter:

My marketers would like to call me quiet, But in the coffee shop I’m still a riot.

The Olivetti Valentine (found at a thrift store for $5):

For vivid colors do you pine? Then I will be your Valentine. I have a very pleasant touch. I’m mercenary, but not much. We won’t be playing for high stakes. Five bucks is really all it takes.

The Hermes 3000:

If I send you a letter that’s typed up in cursive, Does the reading experience seem more immersive?

The Woodstock:

If you or any of your friends have Communist proclivities, Choose Woodstock brand for all your un-American activities.

(This poem is dedicated to the memory of Richard Nixon, Typewriter Detective.)