Every typewriter deserves its own epigram, improvised on its own keyboard. Here are a few more.

Underwood Rhythm Touch, 1950:

This beast weighs thirty-seven pounds!
It looks like it’s been through a war!

Olympia SF De Luxe, 1966 (with a few sticky keys):

I need a bit of exercise.
Don’t keep me in the dark!
On sunny days, you would be wise
To take me to the park.

Smith-Corona Sterling, 1949:

A fine machine of sterling worth,
Of noble and distinguished birth.
Its beauty may not win renown,
But, writing, it won’t let you down.

Remington Noiseless Model Seven, 1937 (in beautiful cosmetic condition, but with mechanical problems—these two lines cost a lot of effort):

I look all right, but I can’t type, it’s clear.
(Your vaudeville secretary joke goes here.)


  1. tom says:

    I can hardly wait to see what comes from the IBM Selectric

  2. Occasional Correspondent says:

    Perhaps, with the Remington, they achieve Noiseless by welding all the keys in place.  Or perhaps they just make it so difficult to use that you stop using it, that makes for Noiseless too.

  3. Occasional Correspondent says:

    Was the Underwood the choice of mobsters for its ability to keep inconvenient people at the bottom of rivers and reservoirs?

    • Dr. Boli says:

      This Underwood looks as though it may have been used for just that purpose.

      It was also the choice of office managers for its complete indestructibility. The thing looks like that, and it still writes. As they would later say about IBM, no one ever got fired for buying Underwood.

  4. KevinT says:

    I seem to recall learning to type in high school in the mid 1970s on a machine that looked very much like the Smith Corona Sterling.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *