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TYPEWRITER EPIGRAMS.

Every typewriter deserves its own epigram, improvised on its own keyboard. Here are a few more.

Underwood Rhythm Touch, 1950:

This beast weighs thirty-seven pounds!
Zounds!
It looks like it’s been through a war!
Cor!

Olympia SF De Luxe, 1966 (with a few sticky keys):

I need a bit of exercise.
Don’t keep me in the dark!
On sunny days, you would be wise
To take me to the park.

Smith-Corona Sterling, 1949:

A fine machine of sterling worth,
Of noble and distinguished birth.
Its beauty may not win renown,
But, writing, it won’t let you down.

Remington Noiseless Model Seven, 1937 (in beautiful cosmetic condition, but with mechanical problems—these two lines cost a lot of effort):

I look all right, but I can’t type, it’s clear.
(Your vaudeville secretary joke goes here.)