Every typewriter deserves its own epigram, improvised on its own keyboard. Here are a few more.

Royal HH, 1951:

It’s an ugly old duck,
With its body like muck
And its keys of an algae-like green;
But just once, if you please,
have a seat at the keys,
And you’ll say it’s a lovely machine.

Remington Noiseless, 1937 (this one types):

Each typewriter has his M. O.,
And mine is pianissimo.

Royal KMM, 1942:

It’s splendid if you own a
But it’s easy to be loyal
To a Royal.

Underwood Standard Portable, 1926:

My finish is deplorable,
But ain’t I still adorable?


  1. Joseph Moore says:

    Charming. Now write them using every letter in the alphabet.

  2. von Hindenburg says:

    I have that same Underwood Portable. It’s so satisfying to use.

    I purchased it years ago at a flea market just down the road from Ft. Necessity, thinking that, had the French surrender demand been written on it, Washington might not have admitted to ‘assassinating’ the Sieur de Jumonville.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *