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Dr. Boli’s Celebrated Magazine.

Edited by H. Albertus Boli, LL.D.

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Listen up, maggots! Do you do any of these embarrassing things? Not if you’ve been to Sgt. Fortescue’s Etiquette Boot Camp!
This dinner guest has just speared an olive with his pickle fork and is now contemplating suicide. The first day of boot camp would have taught him better table manners!
This corporate vice president has just arrived at a resort hotel for a romantic weekend with her administrative assistant, and has horrified the desk clerk by signing her real name. Fortescue grads are not such morons!
This man tried to reconcile Kantian dualism with the absolute idealism of Hegel, and now no one will talk to him. If he had survived through Day 3 of my Etiquette Boot Camp, he wouldn’t have been such a goober.
This man has just extended his right hand to a young lady after offering her a left-handed compliment. Boot camp would have crushed the awkwardness out of him in one week!
Sgt. Fortescue is a former MARINE DRILL SERGEANT and holds a BLACK BELT in ETIQUETTE from Miss Nancy’s Finishing School in Emsworth. You owe it to your SOCIAL POSITION to get the best etiquette training available, and do it NOW you PATHETIC WORM. Sgt. Fortescue’s Etiquette Boot Camp, Gertrude Street, second floor, above the Lavender & Lace Tea Room

September 13, 2023. One comment.

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Comments

  1. Belfry Bat says:
    September 13, 2023 at 9:48 am

    I hope the casualties are given fitting Christian burial.

    Reply

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