COMMUNITY BULLETIN BOARD. — Dr. Boli’s Celebrated Magazine.

The Blandville Area Concerned Citizens are sponsoring another “Redd Up Blandville” day this week. Come out and help us pick up the litter from last week’s “Redd Up Blandville” day.

St. Britney worship site of St. Brielle Parish is not having a bingo game tonight. We have decided that gambling is a sin. The confessionals are open for all inveterate gamblers, and to encourage sincere purpose of amendment, one randomly selected penitent will win the entire contents of the poor box.

Pittsburgh Regional Transit reminds Red Line riders that trolley drivers are sensitive souls, and mocking our new logo makes them sad.

The Groove Moove Medical Marijuana Dispensary on Bland Street is introducing a comprehensive selection of packaged snack cakes to better serve the medical needs of its patients.

City police remind residents that tap-dancing lessons are now mandatory for all citizens between the ages of 10 and 65. In this time of crisis, we must all do our part to fight the spotted-lanternfly menace.

Comments

Martin The Mess says:

September 23, 2023 at 1:59 am

St. Britney and St. Brielle parishes have merged, eh? Our local Queen of Angels parish merged with neighboring St. Matthias parish, to become Queen of Apostles parish. My sister, the Parish Secretary for the merged parish, was not amused when I reminded her that the “queen” of the Apostles was clearly John. But still not as embarrassing as the next pair of merged parishes over, who renamed themselves after a guy who once declared that Benito Mussolini went to Heaven.

- Dr. Boli says:
  
  September 23, 2023 at 8:55 am
  
  These Catholic parish mergers are an opportunity to found new traditions, but one sometimes misses the old ones. Dr. Boli looks back fondly on the old Mother of Sorrows parish in McKees Rocks, which every summer would hang huge colorful happy banners over Island Avenue with the words “MOTHER OF SORROWS FESTIVAL.” He never went to that festival, but the idea that it existed made the world brighter.
  
Colin says:

September 23, 2023 at 1:38 pm

I was walking around my parish grounds a few days after a festival, and stopped to pick up some leftover trash. The first piece I grabbed was the sign-up sheet for the post-festival clean up crew.

KevinT says:

September 23, 2023 at 5:52 pm

One hopes that the head of the parish’s finance committee has had the merger vetted with the proper authorities at the Vatican bank. Otherwise, Our Mother of Sorrows would have to worry about yet another soul found hanging beneath Blackfriar’s Bridge.