DO NOT REMOVE.

Caution! Do not remove this tag! You’ve already removed it, haven’t you? Well, that’s not our fault. We printed a tag on good-quality coated paper that would last the life of the cord it was attached to, and we filled it with useful safety instructions that could save your life, and now it’s sitting at the bottom of your trash can talking to itself. Some day you’re going to pull out the plug and stick a fork into the outlet just to see what happens, and it won’t be our fault, because here we are telling you that’s a bad idea. You’re going to try to save time by using your hair dryer in the bathtub, but it won’t be our fault when you end up deep-fried in bath salts, because we told you you’d be an idiot to do that. You’re going to let your children choke themselves on the cord and electrocute themselves at the same time, and your entire genetic line will become extinct, and you can’t say we didn’t warn you, because we did our best. So don’t come whining to the legal system when you blow up your house by running all the appliances at the same time, because we’re telling you right now, from the bottom of your trash can, don’t do that, and we’ll produce this tag in court, and we’ll prove you had a copy, and then you’ll just feel silly.

. 3 comments.

Comments

  1. RepubAnon says:
    October 16, 2023 at 12:15 am

    I got a paper cut from the tag. Why didn’t you warn me about the tag’s dangerously sharp edges?

    Reply
    • Legal says:
      October 16, 2023 at 1:53 pm

      The warning of sharp edges is printed ALONG the edges.  Sharpen your eyes, bucko, and don’t be obnubilating our warnings with your bodily fluids.

      Reply
  2. Occasional Correspondent says:
    October 16, 2023 at 12:37 pm

    To keep them ready to hand, I tape my do-not-remove-this-tag tags to poor people, since the poor we will always have with us.  Since I am myself a poor person, most of them wind up on me where they provide comforting insulation in the winter months, albeit discomforting insulation in the summer months.  Excess tags I put on my couch, cautions in lieu of cushions.

    Reply

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