How delightful to have met you, Mrs. Whortle!
     How informative your conversation is!
Why, you’ve mastered every factoid that you oughrtle,
     And at jumping to conclusions you’re a whiz!

Say, I never knew vanilla was leguminous,
     Or that cocoa butter came from cocoa nuts;
Or that “anthrax” was the same thing as “bituminous,”
     Or that Fiji natives lived in Quonset huts.

I had no idea Japan was in Malaysia;
     Or that Thackeray wrote Shakespeare’s best-known play;
And I didn’t know that Princess Anastasia
     Is alive and lives in Dormont to this day.

Now I think I’ll go on home and hit the borttle,
     Since there’s really nothing left for me to say.
How delightful to have met you, Mrs. Whortle!
     And when next you see me coming, stay away.