Sir: In the last few decades our country has made great advances in gun rights. Gone are the days when guns could be “controlled” the way we control legitimately dangerous substances like added sugar. Our enlightened Supreme Court has enforced a strict interpretation of the Second Amendment, which states, and I quote, “Blah blah blah something something the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”

Yet the visible progress on the right to keep and bear arms is nullified by a complete lack of progress on the right to use them. In every state of the union, Florida and Texas excepted, outdated laws remain on the books that make murder illegal, and sometimes punishable by a term of several months if not years in prison.

Of what use is the right to keep and bear arms if we still have not gained the right to use them for their intended purpose? It is time for our legislators to wake up and see that the job is only half done. It is time to get rid of those archaic medievalistic laws against murder. It is time at last to give life to the glorious vision of freedom our Founders saw before them when they drafted the Second Amendment.

Fortunately our legislators are in a receptive mood. At least I saw State Senator Cardoon in Krzrnski’s last night, and he was drunk out of his mind. So now is the time for citizens to let their legisators know that now is the time. Write your state representative or senator now, and enclose a bottle of good Monongahela rye, and let the sun of liberty shine at last on our glorious Commonwealth.

–Sincerely, Angus Platter, President, Armed Cranky Old Men of America (ACOMA).