Posts by Dr. Boli

CALL FOR ARTISTS.

The Duck Hollow Museum of Art has issued a call for works for our upcoming exhibition, Challenging Bourgeois Assumptions in the Twenty-First Century. Ideal submissions will be two-dimensional works roughly the width of a smartphone screen (you might trace the outline of your phone as a template) and include an Instagram-ready phrase in five or six words about what’s wrong with the world today, as most of our patrons experience art by sharing it on social media. Under no circumstances should your work challenge the bourgeois assumptions of our museum patrons, as they wish only to see the assumptions of imaginary middle-class yahoos challenged and will stop their donations if their own bourgeois assumptions are challenged.

ASK DR. BOLI.

Dear Dr. Boli: My duct tape broke. What should I use to fix it? —Sincerely, A Mad Scientist (or at Least One Who Isn’t Too Pleased About It).

Dear Sir or Madam: You are asking a dangerous question. Duct tape is the universal restorative. To repair the repairing thing is something like dividing by zero. It might have unintended mathematical, philosophical, and even theological consequences. It could lead you into a conundrum from which there is no escaping.

But you might try chewing gum. You’d be surprised how many things chewing gum properly cured can take care of.