Posts by Dr. Boli
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THE NINJA IN JAPANESE ART.
THE LEGENDARY NINJA has long been a favorite subject of Japanese artists. For centuries, painters of the highest distinction have devoted some of their most famous works to this endlessly fascinating subject. Here we present a small but typical selection of paintings in this genre.
Kaneko Kinryo, Ninja Walking His Dog.
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Anonymous, Ninja with Goose.
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Anonymous, The Celebrated Ninja Ashiku Kurahashi and His Wife Betsy.
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Kinoshita Itsuun, Group Portrait, Sixth Ninja Regiment.
ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY.
ON THIS DAY in 1885, the first practical electric streetcar line in the world opened in Blackpool. It is still operating today. Dr. Boli mentions this fact only as an excuse for presenting the photograph above (by Mark S. Jobling), which not only shows us a beautiful double-decker tram, but also reveals the priceless information that there is a pub in Blackpool named “Uncle Tom’s Cabin.”
CELEBRITY GOSSIP.
BRITISH ROCK LEGEND Sir Jeremy Freakout, who famously sold his soul to the devil on stage at Wembley Stadium in 1972, was said to be “apoplectic” yesterday, after Satan returned the soul and politely but firmly demanded a refund.
FROM THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION.
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ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY.
ON THIS DAY in 1066, King Harold II of England defeated the Vikings at the Battle of Stamford Bridge, finally freeing England from the threat of invasions and assuring himself a long and peaceful reign.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR.
Sir: The story of the beggar which your Magazine published for its younger readers yesterday has rendered a valuable public service. If only we could reach more children with such entertaining and uplifting stories as this one! Too many otherwise responsible adults labor under the mistaken impression that “helping” the poor is an act of charity. I know for a fact, because I have spent considerable time forming a vivid picture of it in my mind’s eye, that money given to beggars is invariably spent on cheap booze and illegal drugs. Everyone would benefit if the money frivolously wasted on beggars could instead be invested in stocks, so that the responsible citizens who run publicly held corporations could spend it on expensive champagne and prescription painkillers. —Sincerely, A. Smith, Edinboro (Penna.).
From THE VIRTUOUS CHILD’S STORY-BOOK.
“MAMMA, I GAVE a penny to a poor man this morning. Was I a good boy for so doing?’
“It depends on the motive you had in view. Did you give it to him because you thought it would do him good?”
“Yes, mamma, I did; for I saw that he was miserable and unhappy, and when I passed him he held out his hat and begged for a penny so that he could buy a trifle to eat. So I thought of the penny I had in my pocket, and I said to myself, ‘Perhaps with my penny he can buy some food, and then he will not be so miserable.'”
“I am sorry to hear it, my dear boy. This is what you should have thought: ‘This man is poor and in dire need, and I possess the means whereby to sustain his life for another day. This possession gives me the power to place him forever in my debt, and to bind him by invisible chains to do my will in hopes of gaining the penny, which after all I may not give to him if I am not pleased with him. And with the profit I make from his servitude I may purchase the lives of multitudes of similar beggars, and gradually form myself an army of shuffling automatons whose very existence depends on my pleasure.'”
“Ah! mamma, I wish I had thought of that, but I am sure I did not intend to do wrong. You know, mamma, I love you so dearly, that I strive to please you in all things.”
“Yes, my dear, I know you love me, and that is because I hold your wretched little life in my hands, is it not? So think, dear child, when next you meet a beggar, what unimaginable power the single penny in your pocket gives you over the wretched lives of those less fortunate than yourself, and you will make me proud of you.”
LIST OF THINGS NATURE ABHORS.
CONTRARY TO POPULAR belief, Nature does not abhor a vacuum. However, there are some things nature does abhor, and given half a chance she will take steps to rid herself of them:
Skyscrapers on barrier islands. Nature does not like it when we build permanent structures on islands that are moving at a measurable annual rate.
Packaged snack cakes. Nature has arranged her laws so that packaged snack cakes are their own punishment.
Trailer parks. With all that nature does every year to rid herself of trailer parks, one would think we would have got the message by now.
Dogs with pink hair. If you dye your poodle’s hair pink, you should not be surprised if your folly comes back to bite you in the end.
Appliances in designer colors. Nature takes care of these by changing our ideas of fashion, causing our trendy appliances to become hideous embarrassments within two years at the most.
Internal-combustion engines. Nature has expressed her abhorrence of the automobile by placing most of the world’s fuel for internal-combustion engines underneath people who hate us. They hate us, of course, because we are willing to kill them to get at the fuel under their feet.