Dear Nergal-Sharezer the Rabmag: Last night I dreamt that one of my neighbors had installed a complete home entertainment system in the back of a Plymouth Horizon, and that he invited me into the car to see it. He had removed the back seats, installed a television and stereo speakers in the hatch, and placed two backward-facing chairs behind the front seats. This dream has been worrying me. What does it mean? —Sincerely, Manfred Honeck.

Dear Sir: The symbolism of dreams is rich and complex, and under ordinary circumstances it is impossible to assign one definite meaning to a particular dream without knowing the most intimate details of the dreamer’s life and thought. In this case, however, you are in luck, since one of the few invariable rules in dream interpretation is that the Plymouth Horizon always represents dry cleaning. How this applies to your own particular dream is not immediately clear, but it gives us somewhere to start. Perhaps you left your dry cleaning with a cleaner who has a complete home entertainment system in the back of his shop. If that is true, then your dream means that your dry cleaning is probably ready now. On the other hand, the backward-facing seats are a worrying detail. Were some of your clothes inside-out when you dropped them off? And will that make a difference? Nergal-Sharezer the Rabmag confesses to some ignorance on the subject of dry cleaning, since, for technical astrological reasons, he never wears the same robe twice.

DID YOU KNOW that the leaves in the bottom of your teacup can read the future wherever you have access to a 3G data connection? Simply look for these patterns in the leaves, and refer to this guide for the proper interpretations.

Necklace—Partial: Danger of losing a lover. Complete: Likelihood of hanging.

Hat: Look in your pockets. You may have lost your mittens.

Pear: Expect misfortunes in twos. Tea leaves are notoriously poor at spelling.

Acorn: Large deciduous tree within twenty years.

Shoe: You will be heckled by an angry mob.

Face of James Buchanan: Your friends are treacherous, indolent, or stupid.

Asterisk: See note, next teacup.

Pig: Bacon in your near future.

Triangle: You will perform the least rewarding part in the symphony. Not necessarily metaphorical.

Brooklyn Bridge: Outstanding investment opportunity in tea-shop franchising. Inquire at counter.

Hourglass: Teacup is not responding. Empty and refill to reboot.

Dear Dr. Boli: Why are there food supplements? Can’t we just eat food instead? —Sincerely, The Owner of a Food Store, but Not Exactly a Health-Food Store.

Dear Sir or Madam: Food supplements are meant to provide those nutrients that are not supplied in your ordinary diet. For example, a quick glance at one catalog of food supplements reveals that it is possible to ingest red wine in pill form instead of drinking a good claret, or Camellia sinensis in pill form instead of drinking a cup of Yunnan tea. Dr. Boli believes that the people who make use of these pills must be something less than human, but it seems that the subhuman demographic is a very profitable one.