ON THIS DAY in 1923, an address to Congress by President Calvin Coolidge was carried on radio stations in six different cities, the first presidential address ever broadcast by wireless. The address began at exactly thirty-one minutes and twenty-eight seconds past noon. It ended at thirty-one minutes and forty-three seconds past noon, making it the longest address of Coolidge’s presidency.

ON THIS DAY in 1818, the state of Illinois was admitted to the Union. A public auction was immediately scheduled in Kaskaskia for the new state’s two seats in the United States Senate.

Dear Dr. Boli: I do not understand chess, there is no point except to catch the enemy’s king. Why do it that way instead of just killing him when you have the chance? —Sincerely, A 9-year-old reader with older brothers who play chess.

P.S. How did chess get started anyway?

Dear Sir or Miss: As Dr. Boli has explained elsewhere, the game of chess began as an elaborate prank at the expense of a neophyte checkers player. Since that humble beginning, however, chess has grown into a favorite game of statesmen and armchair strategists around the world.

The main attraction of chess as a game is that it enables the players to practice the art of war without the time and expense involved in the latter game. War is a game very similar to golf, in that the cost of the equipment spirals upward continuously, the cost for any given player dictated largely by his perception of the effectiveness of his opponents’ equipment.

The rules of chess are very similar to the rules of war. In chess, as in war, it is regarded as very bad form, and in fact a violation of the rules, simply to assassinate the leader of the opposing side. Instead, it is necessary to destroy a great many seemingly irrelevant subordinates before finally capturing the opposing leader. The rules are simplified in chess, where every piece belonging to one’s opponent is regarded as a legitimate target. In the game of war, targets are required to be “military.” It is considered a violation of the rules simply to kill greengrocers and accountants at random. The greengrocers and accountants must first be forcibly abducted and dressed in military uniforms—a process known as “conscription.” Then they become legitimate targets, and may be killed in whatever ways the players deem most entertaining. Players who ignore this rule are described as “terrorists,” which is game jargon for “cheaters.”

Dr. Boli is aware that he has rambled on for quite some time without addressing your real question, which is why such games as chess and war exist at all. The moment has come when Dr. Boli must admit that he has no idea.

ON THIS DAY in 1961, Fidel Castro announced in a speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist, and that he would lead Cuba toward communism. As of December 2, 2010, the speech is still going on, so it is has not yet been revealed when the goal of transforming Cuba into a workers’ paradise is scheduled to be reached.

ON THIS DAY in 1913, the fall of Western civilization officially began when the first drive-up gasoline station in America was opened in the East Liberty neighborhood of Pittsburgh.

On this day in 1955, Rosa Parks just sat there, setting an example of productive inertia that Dr. Boli has tried to emulate ever since with varying degrees of success.

On this day in 1969, the United States held its first draft lottery since the Second World War. The lucky winners received an all-expenses-paid trip to sunny Saigon, the pearl of Indochina.

On this day in 2004, Tom Brokaw reported his own retirement from NBC News, getting several important details wrong. He issued a formal apology to himself the next day.

Mozart, Wolfgang Amadeus. Mozart composed his first piano sonata prenatally, but his parents would not allow him to handle a pen until he was five years old.